11.2: Last 17% of the Year Rant

Everybody in denial!
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It has to start somewhere.  It has to start sometime.  What better place than here, what better time than 
now?  Lights out, turn this rant up, as usual your savior, party host and Das Ayatollah of Rant n' Rollah is 
here.  DX reunited and it feels so good Triple H and salutations to the lot of ya, who are on the ground floor 
of something big: the first bi-weekly rant.  Well, what has been going on in the "inconsequential matters" 
that are my life (for those of you wondering, hell yes I'm gonna milk that phrase like Kato did his 15 
minutes)?  Not much, just gearing up for Transfer Month.  The SDSU one is for the most part a done deal, I 
just need some information on the piddling amounts of bling bling my parents made last year.  The pair of 
UCs will be difficult, I have to write about some great intellectual thing that I did.  I'm assuming my 
literary masterpiece, "Touch Stove, Hand Burn" isn't gonna cut it. Still waiting for PDine to send it in-end 
of the week at the latest, is this man's guess.  Also, I *officially* have my own column in la papel.  Expect 
more angry letters and laughter.  I believe I'm getting paid next week, so I can start saving for X-mas.  I 
hate this time of year, cause it's the 3/4 of semester lull.  Midterms have been tossed like Shaq's Magic unis, 
and finals are far enough away that one can trick oneself into believing, "Hey, don't got to worry about that 
crap THIS YEAR!"  Really didn't want to attend classes yesterday, but I sluiced through.  As far as 
Halloween went, I ate candy and watched the Simpsons, which is about the only thing a sexless geek my 
age can do.  I'm so close to being the Collector it's not really all that funny.  By the by, if anyone knows 
when "Man on the Moon" is coming out, please drop a note in the ol' E-box.  Grazie.
*LATE BREAKING NEWS*---Skeleton of me is up @ go.to/butchrosser.  I'm going to try to learn HTML 
to bring forth updates and such and make the site kick it kick it (yeah, that's the ticket).

So, with the new era of Rantdom (the Renaissance?  Ice Age?  Space Age?  I don't know what it's called) 
comes the need to change the qualifications of what constitutes booting from the Butch World Order.  So 
here it goes: 4 consecutive Rants without an answer.  This may sound harsh, but IT'S TWO DAMN 
MONTHS!!!!  Even the most vida loca of the bWo should be able to send their main man a holla holla.  
And even if I boot you for negligence, it doesn't mean that you can't send me an E and you won't hop back 
aboard the Rant Express.  So, I shall be listing the Neidermayers now.  Those of you who've missed two get 
a special little * and I expect, well, hope to get something from you before the 11/16 special: Annie*, 
Carly*, Kenny*, Amanda D.*, Jason*, Sandra, and Uber-rike*.  For the elite, PM is here:

AMANDA: Woo-hoo!  Finally, a reason to live-you're coming back to town!  Heard the Bears kicked 
someone else's ass Sat.-are you going to go to their bowl game?  Halloween in Berkeley-hope you got pics!
DIANE: See below.  Also nice to see you again.  I swear, I'm just going to run up to your house, ring the 
door, drop the Radiohead poster and run.  Is Grandmaster Flash getting a cut of them T-shirts?
DUSTIN: Niiiiiice.  Just HOW MUCH of this is over your cranium? Update yer site, ya boob.  (Nice job 
whipping out the knife in front of John.  Jo's mad at you again.  What're ya gonna do next, pull an assualt 
rifle on Bob Newhart?  Didn't you think this would get back to Jo?  If Joey Tribbiani has taught us nothing 
else [I don't believe he has] it's that YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THE TRAIL!!)
IVAN: Sorry I missed hollerin' at ya, but I'm getting ready to transfer.  Way to blow up shop on the 
midterms!  Michael who?  I wanna be like Ivan!!
ERIN COX: Still don't know about the bonfire.  Hope things find you well (insert genericana).
EVIL ERIN: Happy birthday!  (belated) Hope you had fun getting older, cause once you hit 20 it's all 
downhill, baby.
JO: Don't worry, I yelled at Dustin so you don't have to.  Nice look.  "Sleeping with the Enemy 2", never 
released in theatres.  How was the train ride?  I was thinking of it as an option to visit our more northernly 
friends if the road trip goes down in flames.
JESSICA: I missed you a buschel and a peck.  How much are they paying you?   How are the other classes 
going?  We need to hang out again, if for no better reason than me & Matt to do another jam session.
MIKE: Who am I gonna forward that to when you sent it to everyone on my list for the most part?  It was 
cool though.  And it's now PAINFULLY clear the Nines are throwing the season to draft Brees or Warrick.  
Go Kings!
SAMMY: You know where to go.  See ya in clase.
SARA: Raise your right hand, and repeat after me: "I, superpube, do hereby promise to embarrass myself 
publicly, throw candy at movies when the music swells, and wear a used garbage bag on my head every 
single full moon FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"  That's in!  You're in!  Later, of course, you will have to 
rob a bank...
CAROLINE: Nice seeing ya.  Where are you schooling at? How's Tim?

TOP 10 SUGGESTED NEW NAMES FOR DIANE'S SITE:
10.Home of the Great Sarcasmo
 9.Diane the Boredom Slayer
 8.This WEB Space For Rent
 7.Ich Bien Ein Auslander
 6.Diane's Web
 5.Diane's Torture Rack
 4.Friends of D (woo-hoo woo-hoo, if you're friends w/D, well then you're down w/me, if you're down 
w/me, then you're friends w/D)
 3.Updates the Minute I Roll Off Of John
 2.$10 If You Spell My Last Name Right The 1st Time
And the #1 Suggested New Name for Diane on the Web....
 1. Lollipop Guild Headquarters

BREAK THE WALL DOWN! (wrestlesection):
Welcome to Butch Is Wrestling!  All you loyal Plagueaholics are in for a treat, as I continue my dominance 
of your minds by talking Big 3.  Why? Cause I am one bad mamma jamma!:
WWF: DX couldn't get over as heels, my ass!  X-Pac was always cooler as a heel, anyway.  I think we all 
thought Shane was going to become the new champ last night-least I did.  Bossman must die!  Only a few 
scant days until Y2J restores Mountie-like prominence to the IC strap.  The Acolytes rule-I just wish they'd 
talk more.  Tori and Kane-uh, OK, beauty and the beast allegory.  I knew Steph was headed for 
Amnesiaville, thank God they didn't drag it out.  Could Edge, Christian, and the Hardyz BE any cooler?  
Also the Hollys rock as well.  I hope they do traditional 4-on-4 at SS.  That would Rock. FIG.
WCW: What they're doing, I dunno.  Nash looked more like Steven Regal than Vince.  Madusa...uh, all 
right.  Torrie=ratings.  Is there anyway Hart doesn't walk out of Mayhem as champ?  Norman Smiley is the 
Emperor of Hardcore!  Who else misses Lenny & Lodi?
ECW: Damn!  New Jack as champ woulda been cool, but the Man keeps him down.  If Raven & Dreamer 
are so damn hurt, let the Impactors take the straps.  Sandman & Whipwreck coming back is bueno.  Jerry 
Lynn better make TV Champ before I get 21 or there's a conspiracy going on.  Dawn Marie spanking 
Tammy, two words-pause and rewind!  Awesome should lose the big gold to RVD after he drops the TV 
strap.  I've got big balls, I've got big balls, and he's got big balls, and she's got big balls, and we've got the 
biggest balls of them all!  

I have nothing more to say here that is relevant or true.

So, a song is it?  Let me nominate Macy Gray- "I Try", RHCP, "Around the World", if you didn't catch the 
other 29 references, RATM-"Guerrila Radio", and Robbie Williams- "Angels".  In the books department 
(always pulling something new out of the arsenal.  Now tell a dirty joke.  HA HA HA!  Good one!)  by all 
means pick up Mick Foley's [Mankind's] autobio "Have A Nice Day!  A Tale of Blood, Tears, and 
Sweatsocks" which may be the only bio I read that didn't bore me to tears.  I read a lot of it in 
Waldenobooks for an hour, and Ms. Foley's baby boy can put his name next to Dickens and Willy Shakes 
as one of the Millennium's best writers.  Also snatch up Dave Barry's first fiction work, "Big Trouble" 
which is a non-stop rollicking good time.  When I first saw "Pulp Fiction", I made the allegory that it was a 
R-rated "Seinfeld", and this book is the PG-13 version of "Seinfeld".  Every page will make you laugh, 
think, or remind you of somebody.  Let me get a GKMF: What the hell.  Everyone on the rocketship to the 
sun on Los Simpsons.   They deserve it. Can't wait five seconds.    This is the NEW biggest rant.  And 
now...

I'm outta here like I stole somethin'.
And, boys and girls, you may agree with some of the things 
I've said, and some things may not apply to you.  But no
matter what your opinion is, you must remember this one 
thing: there's a little bit of the Blue Blazer in all of us.
WHOO!