9.21: Rantarranged It took me half an hour to get a comp, so you damn well better enjoy it or else the next time I see you I'm...gonna....STARE AT YOU! *****************WELL, I'M A BIG @$$ PREVIEW************************** What Is Hip?/Come Not to Praise.../N con PM/It Doesn't Matter What Your Opinion Is!(wrestlesection)/Miscellany/WrapCity ******The Big @$$ Preview is brought to you bah....ten fingers working in unison to make the world a better place, and by the future Mrs., Jenny Love.***************************************************** Former world champ but still superheel Triple H and salutations. I am still your party host, savior, and the Ayatollah of Rant and Rollah! This rant is gonna be big big big. Or small small small. Don't know yet. Anywhoozle, DUSTIN IS THROWING A BONFUEGO AT FIESTA ISLAND ON FRIDAY!!! This may be your last chance to see Ivan, and if you're a female in Dustin's family, this may be your last chance to see him outside of a courtroom setting. ;) Sometimes they just write themselves. Went to the AMC 24 and saw Blue Streak. The movie was good, but the theatre....damn! It's hella roomy, plus it's a bit cheaper than ol' Ratsanemic at the Chulajauna Diaz. [Look at it backwards if you still don't get it]. On a plus in the personal life, despite CPI/CMI, I am your four-time, four-time, four-time, four-time nominee for the SoCal Journalism Awards. Meaning that if I win one (or more), not much will change. I've always been a self- promoting, preening arrogant bastard. ;) I'll be outta here on the 1st and 2nd. Working the Bolts game Sun. (and they'll actually have to face a pro team). But other than that, the future is wide open. Some of you had your last chance last week. Well, the chance is over. So, Robin, Jeremy, Sam K. get to steppin! It's been real and it's been fun, but the Rant Wide Web can't be benevolent to ye scrubs and pigeons. Or skeeos. What eva's hip. Those who get Neidermayer benefits without severance: ECox, Kenneth, Jessica, Amanda D., Caroline and Ulrike. For the rest, sing for the year: AMANDA: When with the roadtrippin'? Why are you coming to town when I have to leave? ;( Whatever Dustin tells you, he DOES NOT have epileptic seizures where he has to hold onto cleavage for support. ;) IVAN: Are you gonna make it to bonfuego? Cause I want to say my goodbyes before you go rolling back to be a Gaucho, baby. DIANE: FINALLY!!! Now, how about some information about just how danm kewl I is? Are you on intersession now? Cause I went to see ya Th. and you were out on an interview or some such. ANNIE: I think "American Beauty" should be good. I wrote an anti-pop music article you'll love. I'll try and send it to you. Why can't you be happy for us? Could be worse--could be Taylor Baldwin. DUSTIN: I want a page. Let's get together and talk about how we can give the Butch World Order what they want. And ya better not frick up my CRock CD ya cracka ass cracka saltine cracka ass! How are my CD's coming along, if at all? CARLY: Scan to wrestlesection. EVAN: Food stamps! Can ya help a brotha out wit some food stamps?!?!;)?!?!?!!!;) JO: I don't know about June. I think I'll be smart like my dad and put it on my birthday. Jennie says Aloha. You might want to call maid of honor, since per an 8th grade agreement I owe Dustin best man and Diane's the bachelor party *cough* entertainment *double cough* MIKE: What in the hizell is going on? Weren't the Lions supposed to suck? Weren't the Broncs supposed to not? Where's the Vikes O? How in sweet low unholy hell are the Bolts in first? Two words, actually three: Watch the Colts. Remember in Dec. I said that. Unless they suck, in which case don't. I got no one to hold either, but I'm holdin' up. Believe dat. SANDY: Cows are evil. (Gateway ref). Can you buhlieve UCLA stole Eastlake's fight song? Whatta bunch of mooks! ;) SAMMY: For that lunch, I want to start with lobster and segue into some Filet Mignon....kidding! More pertinent info in It doesn't matter what your opinion is! ERIN: State name and repeat: I state my name again, do solemnly promise to hate all boy bands, to give away the ending to the 6th Sense, wear my pants backwards every full moon EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LLIFE!!! That's it! You're in! Of course, you still have to kill someone. But that's neither here nor there.... New segment: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR OPINION IS!!! (wrestling fans, stay, others hit the denoument) Finally, the Butch has typed back to you! All my dozens......and dozens of Butchaholics are wondering what I'm gonna do that doesn't involve polishing and ramming things into candy asses. It's simple: chat wrestling. IMHO of course. Diagree? Send me a reply! Of course, if you're wrong.....see the title. My Big 3 revue commences: WWF: Entirely too long w/out Vince and Austin's 15 min. interview opener. Of course, Vince is still evil, but....The Chaz as OJ thing? NO! Just no! Venis and the Acoltyes on comm. was a rip (Farooq: We're gonna k-k-k-k-k-kick his ass lol) and is there a doubt in anyone's mind Chyna is gonna make Dub J her biatch Sunday? Jericho rules, baby!!! Though Liontamer is a better name than this Walls of Jericho bizness. Oh, well. ECW: THAT'S how PPV IS SUPPOSED to work! EC Dub! EC Dub! Yeah, the main event crapped. Awesome as champeen?!? Wait and see I guess. Note to WCW: See the RVD/Lynn match Fri.? THAT'S HOW YOU FREAKING BOOK!!! Let the heels get their moment, then have a 15 minute, 4 star, restaraunt quality NO FREAKING COMMERCIALS!!!! match! Jerry Lynn's time will come, and soon, I hope. WCW: A sad pathetic joke not even worth commenting on. As I deliriously described Fryday, that shmuck Daly has finally recognized who is the ture keeper of Jenny's heart and handed her over. So I will no longer give out the CDMF, but the GKMF. That's right, the Gap Kids Middle Finger Award. First recip: Owners of teams who sell their stadium names to corporations. Bunch of Kevin Browns. Whatever happened to him anyway? Wasn't he good last year? Music: Bizkit-Rearranged, Smash Mouth-Then The Morning Comes and Method Man & Redman-Tear Da Roof Off. No CD for time being, though Metallica is releasing a CD before year's end with the San Fran Orchestra. And you thought that Cypress Hill thing was just a pipe dream. All the drugs in this world can't save us from ourselves. Gotta listen to tapes of who's gonna play at the wedding, so picture me gone. I'm outta here like I stole somethin'. And, boys and girls, you may agree with some of the things I've said, and some things may not apply to you. But no matter what your opinion is, you must remember this one thing: there's a little bit of the Blue Blazer in all of us. WHOO!